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Thread: The 'Have a moan' thread - anything you like

  1. #101
    Regular Dan's Avatar
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    The new Cartier advert. I mean wtf.
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  2. #102
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    Most adverts.

    Especially the emotuional blackmail ones eg fluffy cutsypie creatures daubed over unrelated sujects, has a labrador pup ever used tolet roll for instance. Kind polite children are another... your offspring are monsters who would rather scream blue murder than do the washing up... in a sink they are too short to see into ffs.

    Cosmetics ads especially. Our multi national product requires just 68 delusional wenches in a survey for us to justify wild claims about our expensive snake oil. For goodness sake, the woman on the screen is 22 that is why she has good skin.

    Oh, and before I lose the will to live with a cursor that locks up every other sentence...

    The news. Is it only me that makesd a 'buzz' sound and reports the offender to Humphrey for repetition? Documenteries that appear to be aimed at 6 year olds that have had too much fizzy pop, I have given up watching tv (thanks to Nige for introducing me to 4OD, telly never goes on now).

    Oh and one last one.... a Jahrekarte fee that goes up and up, whilst safety and customer care goes... blimey is that the time?
    "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal". Henry Ford.

    I'm the king of the swingers.
    The jungle vip
    I've reached the top
    And had to stop
    And thats whats bothering me woooah
    Shoop-bee-do dum de dum
    Hang on a mo. Who said anything about stoppping?

  3. #103
    OFWAT, The Environment Agency and muppet lazy arse tv news reporters talking about hosepipe bans.

    Carte blanche reporting that in the midlands their's going to be a hosepipe ban. Who have they spoken too? The Water Company? Nah, lets talk to the EA and OFWAT and just start some scaremongering stories.

    Then, let's have a word with a farmer who's going to play the woe is me card cos he can't plant spuds, yet he'll still get a government payoff for leaving his field bare for a year. Yeah, he's the one to give expert advice on whether a hosepipe ban is going to be instructed too.

    And then shall we cut for a reasoned response from the local water company? Nope!! Jim the farmer said we're all f*cked so we'll go with that instead.

    Brilliant

  4. #104
    Regular Jim Cameron's Avatar
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    Useless water company press departments.
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  5. #105
    Quote Originally Posted by Jim Cameron View Post
    Useless water company press departments.

  6. #106
    Regular Stace's Avatar
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    The mofos who damaged my roller shutter last night. I was trying to fecking sleep when the alarm people called
    Dunlop Direzzas. Officially better than aero.

  7. #107
    Quote Originally Posted by Stace View Post
    The mofos who damaged my roller shutter last night. I was trying to fecking sleep when the alarm people called
    Could have been any time of the day or night, in fairness
    Here lies the body of Mary Lee, died at the age of a hundred and three. For fifteen years she kept her virginity, not a bad record for this vicinity.

  8. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karl View Post
    Could have been any time of the day or night, in fairness
    It was 20:30 when he called me, to chat because he was bored waiting for the alarm people to come out, which is still 7 year old early to bed.

  9. #109
    sales calls trying to claim back ppi
    I'm arresting you for murdering my car you dyke digging tosspot

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karl View Post
    Could have been any time of the day or night, in fairness
    LOL

    Telesales people who can't speak English, well not enough to understand!
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  11. #111
    Regular Ollie_247's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gary Kinghorn View Post
    sales calls trying to claim back ppi
    Recored Sales call trying to claim back PPI every sodding day at least twice (its about the only time the office phone rings)

    o and Al Clark for being a arse and going to germany
    Test Dummy

  12. #112
    Regular findlay's Avatar
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    Today is not turning out to be a good day. I better not start moaning about stuff. I'll never stop.
    @ThrottleSteerer - Ex-Official Northloop Brat Custodian

    Forever in debt to the famous NL Brat relay Team.
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  13. #113
    Quote Originally Posted by findlay View Post
    I better not start moaning about stuff. I'll never stop.
    Thats why I'm not going post any of my millions of moans in here, otherwise the web server might melt.
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  14. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by findlay View Post
    Today is not turning out to be a good day. I better not start moaning about stuff. I'll never stop.
    Just because you didn't get Ian's iPhone
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  15. #115
    Regular findlay's Avatar
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    I still have my dignity...
    @ThrottleSteerer - Ex-Official Northloop Brat Custodian

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  16. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy C View Post
    Most adverts.
    My main gripe with them is that they're much louder than the TV programme I'm watching.
    Wish TV remotes had a 'half volume' button instead of having to mute.
    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Benz
    Nige would be turning in his shed
    Quote Originally Posted by Nige
    Have you seen my bottom nuts?

  17. #117
    Regular findlay's Avatar
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    Meddling ex-employees.
    @ThrottleSteerer - Ex-Official Northloop Brat Custodian

    Forever in debt to the famous NL Brat relay Team.
    Kent to Aberdeen (the scenic route) - December 2016

  18. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by findlay View Post
    Meddling ex-employees.
    You've started
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  19. #119
    Regular findlay's Avatar
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    I know, which is dangerous.

    Need a vent today. Seriously.

    The ineptitude of others is, frankly, outstanding. My piss is genuinely boiling.
    @ThrottleSteerer - Ex-Official Northloop Brat Custodian

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  20. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by findlay View Post
    My piss is genuinely boiling.
    Pics or it did....

    On second thoughts.

  21. #121
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by sparrow View Post
    Pics or it did....

    On second thoughts.
    Lol

    Come on the Findlay. Hit us with it.
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  22. #122
    Most old peoples driving standards. This may or may not include Screacher
    I'm arresting you for murdering my car you dyke digging tosspot

  23. #123
    Regular Joel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gary kinghorn View Post
    most people's driving standards.
    efa
    If the whole world was filled with just animals and David Attenborough, it would be a beautiful place. Unfortunately, it's been overrun by 7.7-billion assholes.

  24. #124
    Regular Jim Cameron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gary Kinghorn View Post
    Most old peoples driving standards. This may or may not include Screacher
    Gary's appalling punctuation.

    Joel can now apply the same edit...
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  25. #125
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    The quality of rants and moans these days. Where's the decent invective, the cruel yet accurate torrent of expletives? The new and inventive ways of insulting people? It's all just a bit poo isn't it.

    Especially if the rant never really gets going and kind of tapers off...
    Mark

  26. #126
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    The a127

  27. #127
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    And the new rs twingo

    and the new renault advert where the couple have a 5 star clio 200 and then they have one child and suddenly they need a people carrier...

  28. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by chilled View Post
    Where's the decent invective, the cruel yet accurate torrent of expletives?
    Ah! Thanks for reminding me of another pet hate;
    People who say "There's no need to swear" when somebody is having a go at them for being incompetent / rude / generally idiotic.
    I find the following response quite effective;
    "Of course there's a need to swear. It's situations like this for which swearing was invented, you f*cking stupid c*nt."
    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Benz
    Nige would be turning in his shed
    Quote Originally Posted by Nige
    Have you seen my bottom nuts?

  29. #129
    Regular Dave G's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sax0joe View Post
    The a127
    Fond memories on that road.

    Including getting caught at 115mph.

  30. #130
    Regular Mike Roberts's Avatar
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    The douche in the green t-shirt on OBEM right now who is about as supportive to his wife as a stocking full of baby shit.

    Edit. He's livening up now.

    Edit. No, he's a tit.
    Last edited by Mike Roberts; 14-03-2012 at 09:20 PM.
    Takes a lot of skill to look this bad you know...

  31. #131
    Regular Chris D's Avatar
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    Thankfully, I don't have to endure that this week. Doris is in MK as of today.
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  32. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris D View Post
    Thankfully, I don't have to endure that this week. Doris is in MK as of today.
    Thanks for the warning . Did she bring her sport button?
    SteveM owes me 5
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  33. #133
    Regular Kev_G's Avatar
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    employment agencies who cant add hours on a time sheet up correctly so dont pay you correct. Are they really f'ing retards.

    Thank god im no longer with them but we will see what this new lot are like.

    Also being told a company wants to employ you then make you wait for weeks only to tell you its been delayed................
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  34. #134
    Regular Dan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Roberts View Post
    The douche in the green t-shirt on OBEM right now who is about as supportive to his wife as a stocking full of baby shit.

    Edit. He's livening up now.

    Edit. No, he's a tit.
    Seems like my mrs now wants to watch this now we had a baby.

    Bloke in the green is a douche
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  35. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave G View Post
    Fond memories on that road.

    Including getting caught at 115mph.
    Youd be lucky to get caught doing 7mph these days!

  36. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan View Post
    Seems like my mrs now wants to watch this now we had a baby.

    Bloke in the green is a douche
    Yup, same here. I was half watching whilst working, and didn't realise he was a Mormon. Explains why he wouldn't let her have any pain relief, despite her so desperately pleading for it.
    Takes a lot of skill to look this bad you know...

  37. #137
    Didier Drogba.

  38. #138
    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Roberts View Post
    Yup, same here. I was half watching whilst working, and didn't realise he was a Mormon. Explains why he wouldn't let her have any pain relief, despite her so desperately pleading for it.

    We have less than 5 weeks to go before our first child is born and OBEM is compulsory (according to Mrs Ultegra).

    I quite liked that plummy midwife mind you.............

  39. #139
    Regular Dan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Roberts View Post
    Yup, same here. I was half watching whilst working, and didn't realise he was a Mormon. Explains why he wouldn't let her have any pain relief, despite her so desperately pleading for it.
    My Mrs didn't have any pain relief. I think these women should MTFU
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  40. #140
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    People that say 'it's trying to rain/snow'. It either is or it isn't! Don't be a tw@t.

    People that don't use 'the' when talking about a baby. Its not 'when baby comes along' it's 'when the baby comes along'. You wouldn't talk stupid and ask 'how's girlfriend'' so don't talk stupid and ask 'how's baby'.

  41. #141
    Gary.H
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    Quote Originally Posted by lance View Post
    People that don't use 'the' when talking about a baby. Its not 'when baby comes along' it's 'when the baby comes along'. You wouldn't talk stupid and ask 'how's girlfriend'' so don't talk stupid and ask 'how's baby'.
    Isn't that because they're using 'baby' as a proper noun, ie as the baby's name (before they've given it one), rather than a common noun, ie it's a baby ?

    You wouldn't say 'how's the <insert gf's name>' would you ?

  42. #142
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    Twats who pull out infront on you on dual carriageways and continue on at their own speed.

    Lorries overtaking. ****s.

    Twats with no lane discipline.

    ****tards who have no concept of speed.

    Idiots with no spacial awareness.
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  43. #143
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    Oh and farmers who choose to use rush hour as a good time to move ****ing farm machinery at <30mph on dual carriageways. ****ing great idea.
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  44. #144
    Gary.H
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jhonno View Post
    Twats who pull out infront on you on dual carriageways and continue on at their own speed.

    Lorries overtaking. ****s.

    Twats with no lane discipline.

    ****tards who have no concept of speed.

    Idiots with no spacial awareness.
    So basically female lorry drivers then ?

  45. #145
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  46. #146
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    due to the Olympics in Weymouth the council have decided to widen the approach to every roundabout into 2 lanes that immediately revert back to a single lane at the exit
    save the planet its the only one with chocolate

  47. #147
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    Every single driver is trying to block the progress of anyone else, even to the detriment of their own progress. I just don't get it. I need to move to Vancouver. But I won't, I'll do the British thing of seething and moaning about it.
    Mark

  48. #148
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    The new online time sheet system i have to do to get paid. I do 36.25 hours standard a week - thats 7.25 hours a day.

    Will it let me put that - NO

    Im either going to have to ask for more pay that i havent worked or less pay

    They better get ready for a ranting phone call tomorrow
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  49. #149
    Regular stevem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kev_G View Post
    I do 36.25 hours standard a week -
    fecking part timers.
    Simon no longer owes me anything, Dave does though.
    Floyd probably owes me at least twenty with the interest rolling up...

  50. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevem View Post
    fecking part timers.
    that's my standard hours - I do nearly that again in overtime as well

    Doesn't even matter at the moment as either way they cant get my hours right
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