View Full Version : ANOTHER old trip report. this time, england

23-10-2006, 03:16 PM
Hi folks, just back from a very tiring weekend, and after 13 hours sleep to recover, I thought I had better get a thread written before I forget the best bits. Basically, the weekend involved a Walshy day, a wild night out, a BBQ, party, and another wild night out, and a last minute addition of a cadwell park trackday.

This might seem a kind of weird report; all my words are in normal text, all AndyG’s additional comments are in bold. There will be video’s to add at some point as well.

Let the story telling begin.


I left work at 5pm for the drive south. Traffic at Edinburgh was terrible but eventually met Andy at Soutra on the A68 at 6pm. Plan of action was to get to North weald travel lodge as quickly as possibly, hopefully before last orders. Set of down the A68 all the way to Darlington at roughly 100 tuts. More traffic on the A1 slowed us down and we didn’t make last orders.

5.45, and Mckean has yet to pitch up. Clearly the Honda was not getting enough “Rough Love”. 6pm and we are good to go, sithing down the A68, with an appropriate turn of pace. Once we joined the motorway, things were dull but amusing, with McKean trying to “educate” every individual on the road guilty of lack of lane discipline. Headed straight to chez Walsh, to discover lights off, and then set off to find the hotel. McKean however, managed to find a curb, a hedge and a ford (of the river variety). Slightly lost for a bit, arrived at the hotel shattered!



Woke up to soaking wet roads but the sun was out, so was all set to dry up. Breakfast was consumed, then I helped Andy to fix his car. Made it to north weald for our 2 person training day. Walshy was on top form, dishing out the rough love to both of our poor cars. After the day with walshy, the term of rough love (meaning hard driving of cars) was thought up. I went over all the techniques that I had learnt previously, then concentrated on left foot braking, right foot accelerating at the same time to control the pitch and angle of the car. I eventually got the hang of it, but I still need a bit more practise before I attempt duffus at 100mph .

After the training was finished, we headed out for the night. Nice meal, a few drinks and a shedload of banter. Lots of stories that I’d love to share, but they will go to my grave with me I’m afraid. Highlights for me, if you can call them that, were losing 50 quid in 20 minutes in a rigged drinking game, and accidentally dropping walshy on his face. I cut up his cheek and eye, then had the audacity to trip over him, and drop 16 stones of me on him, just to finish him off. I then spent the next 2 hours trying to talk him down from an aggressive state, which would have resulted in certain death for me.

Stared the day by loosing an ECU clip in the engine bay! FFS what a tool. Still we got more fuel and made it to North Weald. Walshy appears to demonstrate his usual cone manouvering skills with the Elise, and apologises for not being an entertaining as usual due to a throttle sticking issue! Left foot braking, combined with accelerating and a manner of other “black magic” techniques later we’re having fun. We do the circuit before lunch….its official, Walshy has made me slower, due to my inability to drive in a straight line. The Toyo’s are discovering the definition of rough love. At the end of my laps Walshy says, “normally I ask people if they enjoyed that. You didn’t stop laughing from the moment you slid it round the first corner!”

Another “moment” occurs when at 90mph, one of the front sections (that hide the fuse box) takes to flight a good 30ft in to the air, after hitting the windscreen! Has a few war wounds on it……..oops……

Still, one plus point, was while power sliding I manage to eject the lost ECU clip from the engine bay!

Off to Sinclaires after, then dinner, then its gets very messy, then Walshy charms a lesbian! A tremendous night, many a story and plan, and then we start to punish Mckean for his lack of pace on the beers! Mckeans new found boozing comes back to haunt Walshy, as the apes falls on him, cutting his cheek….rough love was meant to be reserved for the cars, not Walshy!

I awake to find myself on a sofa missing some chest hair…………….and McApe has gone MIA.



After the previous nights wild entertainment, a reasonably long lie to 12pm was required. Unfortunately for Walshy this meant a parking ticket for the car he had deserted in town the night before Grabbed breakfast (at 2pm), changed brake pads, and got ready to head to Birmingham for a BBQ and a party at Andy’s friend Mossy. Before leaving, it was decided that we would attend a trackday at Cadwell Park the next day with Walshy and Emma. Just before we booked it, Andy remembered he hadn’t brought his driving license. Another plan was hatched to borrow someone else’s paper copy license, and for AndyG to pretend to be Tony Jenkins, a 6’5” black man from Jamaica

Anyway, with trackday booked, a license suitably borrowed, we left walshy and emma, and headed off to brum for a BBQ. Good time again, and after the BBQ and party we headed off into brum city centre with the best of intentions to be in bed before midnight. As you can see from the summary at the bottom, the plan didn’t exactly go to plan, and we crawled into bed just after 4am, discussing wether we should set the alarm for 5.45am or 5.50am. OH DEAR. Highlights off the night for me were chatting up the dirtiest slag I have ever met (who told an interesting story about cock rings that had all the men listening, before proclaiming she had the twat of a twelve year old) anyways, it was all just eye candy for me, as I was being on my best behaviour.

Enthuaism overtakes sense, and we decide what we really need to do is Cadwell, temporarily forgetting about the party in Birmingham we’re heading for. Realise I don’t have a license, and decide we can wing it. As we sober up, realise what we have done! Also, I’ve booked in as a black chap called Tony who’s a brummy……surely they will never notice.

Mckean decides he’s the route master and sets of for Birmingham with me in tow. More re-education for breakers of lane discipline, and a healthy amount of 3 figure tutting later, we’re in Birmingham.

What follows was an experience. Mckean decides to chat up the “cock-ring story” girl (emma) and in a taxi of 5 guys later proclaims to have a twat as tight as a 5 year old….classy lady. After watching Mossy demonstrate dance moves to rival a young Michael Jackson, and being in pain from laughing too hard I obtain a license, and we head for the hotel. That’ll be 2 hours of kipping then……….



After the best 2 hours sleep I have ever had (not) we awoke, not looking forward to the drive cross country to Cadwell. Brum council’s road department and police force did there best to thwart our efforts, by closing the nearest motorway junction, diverting as approx 15 miles to the next one, then the police force closed that junction. Thanks folks. We eventually got on route again, and I decided that a cruising speed of circa 120 tuts was required to get us to Cadwell in time for the briefing. The journey went well until popping over a crest of a hill on the A46 where we saw the tarmac change from a lovely porous road surface, to concrete, and a 1 mile long water logged section. We both made it out the other end of the puddle and continued on our way to Cadwell. No doubt our new found walshy skills, and alert, well rested bodies saved our lives. Oh. Never mind.

Cadwell park trackday was amazing. Started off damp again, but dried up in the first hour. Andy had a bit of a problem with licenses (I’ll let him explain) but after passing his driving test, he was allowed on. A superb day again. I dropped my times and upped my enjoyment all day. It’s a very technical track, with lots of unseen entry’s, apexes and exits, sometimes all in the same corner : Due to the fact walshy now couldn’t see out his right eye, I actually beat his time on track. I, therefore, will never be attending a trackday again and retiring as champion. Somehow I doubt it’ll ever happen again unless he’s injured.

Scalps for the day, some of which I can hopefully post video’s of, included a 245bhp Ariel Atom, An R300 and R400 caterham and a Radical 1100cc clubsport.

The drive home was a long hard slog. I was so tired, last nights 2 hours kip wasn’t enough, and the trackday had used all my energy. We were almost home, when torrential showers decided to make things more interesting by flooding the A68. DOH. Anyway, made it home, and now 2 new rear tyres, an oil change and some undertray fixing is the order of today

In a coma we set off from Birmingham like scaled cats, have a moment on the flooded bit and arrive at the track in time for sign in. Told there is no chance, as I don’t have the photocard! Still they get me to sit in on the briefing, and although I spend most of it trying to decide what I’ll do if they don’t let me on, I’m crossing my fingers!

Manage to get on, and after completing the sighting laps with Walshy in pax, I have to take out a instructor to prove I can drive….try to behave, despite going sideways through the first right hander (FFS), but thanks to Walshy make a decent fist of the recovery (its still wet). We go for 3 laps and have a good laugh, and I get shown the lines for free!

Emma is the next to suffer the pax fate, and we head off to claim some scalps. Reel in most things on track, occasionally spy Mckean on the opposite straight, and start learning the track. Seem to be skipping by most things apart from a fast 7, which hits the Atom just in front of me! Still miss his nose cone, and see our only red flay of the day. Oh, did if forget to mention that there’s only 22 cars on track!

Eventually manage to get Walshy, who is still struggling to see, to take me out in the 111r. The track gets a fright! If there was ever an experience to point out how much the car can do when driven well this is it! Immediately, we are closing on everything. The r400 nearly has a heart attack as we close on him round a corner, and several other previously quick cars are left for dust! (keep in mind the tyres are done by this stage as are the brakes!)

Wearing the comm. Helmets, Walshy can hear me giggling like a child, and starts going even harder…….tremendous! This is rough love at its best, and the Toyo’s are now melting! Mckean and I pax with each other, and then have a few more shots before leaving. Gutted not have have had my A048’s on (and new Pagids), but WHAT A TRACK! The video footage is being checked by Google at present!

The run home is slow, till we hit the A1 and boot it. Tut level is now rising, and when we find a friendly Cerbera, things get a bit exciting! The A68 is really slippy, and with both of us needing new tyres, not what we wanted when tired. Still a few roundabouts cheer us up, and we scarper for the bypass…….home. Cars booked in for MMC Friday, needs new tyres, new front pads, and a few niggles sorted.

HOURS OF DRINKING: very much 0

Miles covered, just shy of 1300, voice has nearly gone through laughing so hard, and I need to sleep (I only got 6 hours last night!)…………….Rough love the SE way!

23-10-2006, 04:13 PM
That sounds like my dream ground hog long weekend!!!!

"Highlights off the night for me were chatting up the dirtiest slag I have ever met (who told an interesting story about cock rings that had all the men listening, before proclaiming she had the twat of a twelve year old) anyways, it was all just eye candy for me, as I was being on my best behaviour. "

:lol: :lol: