View Full Version : an oldie but a goodie, Sept 03 with the Welsh lads

13-04-2005, 11:45 AM
Right then…

My 4TH 'Ring trip, 12th -15th September '03…:D:D:D:D:D

The weekend had been meticulously planned as usual (!) via myself:) and buddy Rich:) managing to wangle a lift over with the wonderful flapmeister;) Gossy, in his silver Wagon… in return for sharing the fuel costs and the tunnel. Things didn't quite go as planned with the wagon, (when do they ever when the cursed owbow is involved, I hear you ask!) but more about that later…

Right, me n Rich howled down to Gossy's late on the Thursday night, Rich didn't finish till 10:30 so we slung the bags in the long suffering 106, had a fag, and started our journey. Little more than 20 miles from home, Rich's bone-dry n/s CV joint started to howl, as the gaiter split about 10 years ago and grease has therefore long since left the building. She got us there ok though by about 1am, and after carefully following Gossy's directions:rolleys:, we got into his pad and had a cup of tea. Any ideas we'd had of having a nice early night spoiled by the presence of Stef's Colliekisser:D video, so we made a few mental notes, finally crashing into unconsciousness about 3am.

At about 6am, we were woken by the master himself, shouting about a crash on the M25 and that we had to leave pretty quickly. Fair play he sorted us brekky:D and after shouting a bit, and us finding that a wagon seems to have a smaller boot than a mini:rolleyes:, we set off, nice and comfy in the back.

Gossy drove like a man possessed pretty much from there on, boosting this and whistling that, accompanied by bangs from the exhaust, chuffs from the dump valve, intermittent shouts and hysterical laughter from us two in the back… We thought we drove like nutters in the Valleys… we learnt that we hadn't seen anything! I think, at a guess, we were probably sworn at more that morning by commuters in their repmobiles than the variable speed limits on the M25. (What are they all about eh?:rolleyes: You crazy Eeenglish people!)

We got to the services in one piece, met up with Robin and the other dude in a Lotus, DocJock and co, and some others,(can't remember who exactly, head by then a little fried by Gossy's driving…) So off we headed towards the tunnel, after a few hellos and a bog stop. Commence standard procedure "flat out dabble" as normally happens with these Scooby convoys, DocJock's car in particular sounding AWESOME… someone told me it had equal length headers but later told it didn't…? Got to the tunnel, goaded customs by dumping the dump valve, me and Rich shouting "COCAINE!" and Gossy shouting "Where's me passport!" "err… it's in your hand Goss…" :rolleyes:

Boring bit, someone else driving the train unfortunately… Gossy got his "I'm just an overexcitable tw@t" sticker from DocJock… how very very accurate! Got off the train, howled across the flat boring clean country, then the flat boring dirty lookin country, and into Germany. Started seeing Ausfart signs… cool… "we're nearly there kids!" :D:D:D:D:D oh yeah, jumped into MRK's Evo as things were getting a bit cramped n' sweaty in the wagon. Mark would turn out to be the star of the weekend, but that's still to come…

Got to the hotel, say hello to scary white haired lady , chuck bags in room, say goodbye to scary white haired lady, nip down to that glorious car park to scavenge our first passenger laps. Seem to remember my first was one of those "we'll just do a quiet one" laps…:D also my 1st lap in an Evo… and it's an Evo8 FQ300…:D Mark showed how it's done… nice chap, nice lap. Loads of fun in fact. It all came flooding back to me, all of a sudden I wanted a car of my own to drive. We met up with Jon Reeves the Ring "Hire car specialist extrordinaire:D" who informed us there was nothing to hire for miles around:(.

And so, after hearing that somebody was heading up to Koln to get a Smart Roadster, me n Rich dived into a borrowed Civic TypeR, and headed to Koln with these dudes who could drive, but didn't have a map. It took us about an hour and a half to get there. Upon arrival, there was, of course, only 1 Smart left:rolleyes:, so after refusing lardy Golfs and rather expensive Mercs, we settled on a bargain Seat Leon 1.6 16v at a very respectable 73 euros, with only a £200 excess! Duly satisfied, we thrashed it, from cold, all the way back to Nurburg, in time for our first p!ss-up at Sabines…
Can't remember much more of that night, oh yeah, lots of Vodka, lots of red bull, more vodka… oh, now it's coming back to me…:D Harj the meister gets royally leathered after far too many shots, and disappears off to the loo to be sick. Soon afterwards a text message arrives from him, saying simply "Help me!" which was duly ignored by all. Matey boy Rich goes to loo, and finds Harj slumped over said convenience, throwing away good beer via his cakehole:rolleyes:. Rich gets Harj a glass of water, which he throws down the toilet, before staggering through the bar and off to the hotel, not forgetting to literally fall out of the bar and onto the floor. When will people learn about trying to outdrink the Welsh?;)

Woke up the following morning feeling fine:), and thrashed the cold Leon down to the Ring, eager to do our first laps. We decided the Leon was a bit of a lardy barge, so commenced to strip it down. Out went the spare wheel, tools, airfilter, throttle pedal limiter, parcel shelf, rear headrests and various other useless cr@p. Oh yeah, for the ultimate "Ring whore" look, we also pulled off the rather gay looking wheeltrims:D. I hogged the first lap, and there it was, the Green Hell… I was amazed how much of it I remembered from my previous trips. The first flat-out charge into Flugplatz without lifting, shat myself taking Schwedenkreuz more or less flat:eek:, only to get the back end wagging all the way into the righthander after it. We took Foxhole flat and I was cheeky enough not to brake until what felt very late…. Bergwerk always catches me out, as does the right after Adenau bridge, which I'm informed should be flat, but never was:rolleyes:. Oh yes, getting into the swing of it now, bang bang we went through Karussel, remembering to "drop" into it and power power power out of it. Brunnchen was taken with gusto and on we howled, the soggy suspension stubbornly refusing to lift off over Pflanzgarten… and all to quickly it was over… (11 minutes, 7 minutes, who knows…?):D
For my lap knowledge I firmly thank MattOz, Mellow
Yellow, Tony Quinn, MRK, Gossy, Mike Rainbird, Harj, RSquire, Ben Lovejoy, Jon Reeves and whoever has taken me for a lap before… And don't worry, I'm not getting overconfident, I know she can bite…;)

Rest of the day was spent playing about, went for the leeryest laps of the weekend, firstly in a borrowed Civic TypeR, very very sideways , and in the M5, driven by Mark…:D You can really feel Newton's laws at work in that thing… 2 Ton of Autobahnstormer saying "STRAIGHT ON!" and 4 little diplomatic German contact patches saying "turn, please…" At some point, Rich and Gossy disappeared for a lap in the wagon, and they seemed to take a very long time to come back… just as I was getting worried, Rich appears… on foot:eek:. Gossy's wheel bearing had totally collapsed (exactly as happened to my Fiesta last year!), causing the disk to chop through the caliper, and creating a VERY scary total loss of brakes half way round(Pflanzgarten1). True to form, Gossy had a good old flap, obviously worried he had dropped brake fluid on the track. After a quick look, it seemed that fluid loss (if any) had been minimal, the main reason for loss of braking being the angle of the disk causing some crazy amounts of pad knock-back.

So, back we went to the hotel, Gossy sorted the RAC to pick up the car, quick change and off for food. Everywhere was jammed solid, so me Rich and a few others shot down to Adenau for a stunning Pizza (and some stunning dining partners too) :D
After the Pizza, me and Rich headed back up to Nurburg and got hammered again in Sabines, and on returning to the hotel discovered the wonders of free hotel room porn-tv.:D:D:D

Our last day at the Ring was even better. Chris (MellowYellow) had a problem with the exhaust on his car, it seemed the centre had blown out of an old temp. sensor, causing a blow and loss of boost. We managed to remove the offending item and bung it, and after sorting the headers with lots of tie wire and gun gum it was sorted. In return, Mellow took me out for my best passenger laps of the weekend. I am always surprised by just how good a Scoob can handle, but this was something else, I mean we're talking Scalextric with Magnatraction:eek:. I was also massively impressed at Chris's lines and track etiquette, never failing to give the thumbs-up when somebody moved over, and anticipating bikers' movements with almost psychic accuracy. I know I'm bragging the guy up :rolleyes: but there's a lot some could learn from him (eg. Myself, after managing to chase a rather more grippy Westie into Brunnchen and going across the grass, and my mate Rich, who managed to enter Brunnchen BACKWARDS!). Respect to all that were good enough to give me passenger rides, but my favourites were in Mellow's Scoob. I was due a lap driving the car, but unfortunately we had to shoot off to collect Gossy's hire car, which was to be our transport home, as the Scoob was beyond German repair… Kaput… Unfortunately, by this point so was the Smart Roadster, now looking not-quite-as-Smart, with a bent arse, scuffed side and spectacularly broken (but still inflated) rear wheel:eek:… All had been fine until somebody discovered a turbo hose off, reconnected it and unleashed the beast within… result: power oversteer and far higher corner speeds than the guys had gotten used to. Oops!

And so to the final night in Sabine's… Rich went off to bed early:rolleyes:, and I got more p!ssed than any other night. At this point I would like to apologise to the lovely spiky-haired barmaid for harassing her all night. I ended up locked out as Rich had the keys, luckily the chap with the Boxster (name?) let me in via the backdoor of the pimpsuite (no laughing!) and so, to bed, to sleep, wake, return the Leon (visually undamaged but knocking under load!) and scarper, Into our Megane, back to Calais, Swap into Mark's Evo to get onto the Chunnel, then the simple task of collecting another hire car to get back to Gossy's… except the hire car is in Dover, not Folkestone:rolleyes: thanks a bunch RAC... Luckily, Mark stepped in again and ferried us down there, the rest is boring blah blah… Got back to Wales in one piece about 10pm, had a smoke, went to bed.

Respect to all whom made it, all the people whose names I can't remember, all the generous passenger ride givers, tool lenders, drink buyers, key lenders, lift givers and to all those who've bothered to read this cr@p. And one final toast to absent friends, we missed you.

:D:D:D:D:D driving down to Ibiza for the summer, might make a big detour, catch some of the 'Ring and Italy on the way... either take the GTFour or my lil Nissan Sunny

Owain [still grinning]

13-04-2005, 11:48 AM
oh yeah one guy who has constantly managed to evade giving me a passenger lap but i did learn quite a bit from by trying to follow at one point :D JonFelstead.. catch you next time



18-04-2005, 09:58 PM
Amazed you remember all of that detail since Sep 03 :blink:

Sounds like you had fun ;)


19-04-2005, 02:14 PM
It's the way you tell 'em ! :D

20-04-2005, 05:34 PM
scandalously copied and pasted from when i told it on Scoobynet, however i do remember most of that to this day! Legendary.

Owain :D

22-04-2005, 02:39 PM
I was on that weekend, had loads of grief with brake pads on the P1 ;)
Left the spare ones at home :blink:

22-04-2005, 09:07 PM
I was the guy in the Boxster :D

I also had to follow the bent Smart back to Koln airport. It made it but it cost the guy his excess.

25-04-2005, 12:35 PM
The boxter s ?
You were going well if i remember!

26-04-2005, 08:16 PM
If you are thinking of a Grey S then 'Ta' :D

26-04-2005, 10:21 PM
oi oi soopdragon, i remember ya... was it you that let me in when i was locked out then? and is it you in that pic of docjock with Sabine? or am i going insane.... :)


27-04-2005, 04:30 PM
That was me. :D

Dave Malings
27-04-2005, 06:55 PM
Just looked at your website.......that humour is right up my street, the list of excuses reads from and BBS after a trackday.

Good work!

Dave :ph43r:

30-04-2005, 10:19 PM
Ta for your comments. We had a good laugh writing the excuses. The 'fish tank' one was actually used on me by an MR2 driver. :D The vids are up and running but we are still working on the rest of the site.